Trying to be real 

J.H
I’m trying to be real with you, to let you through, all the secrets I’ve been holding, trying to protect you. You tell me to be open, express, give you the key like my heart is some sort of token. So I’m trying to be real with you, after one year, even two, I accepted it, an issue for you, a part of me, you say you want to know, but you are going to sleep consumed, thinking it doesn’t show. It’s hurting in the process, I’m trying to focus, knowing you’re there for support regardless, you call this type of love mess. I’m trying to be real with you, “I want what’s best for you”, those words are on repeat, but I hear your heart skip a beat. You’re scared of the outcome, set on the belief that it’s just some, holding on to an experience, it doesn’t make any sense. It’s a constant conversation, a mix of words, change of a station, especially when it’s not what you envisioned, now you’re trapped in your minds prison. I’m trying to be real with you, not leaving you without a clue, just don’t obsess and control, you no longer have that role. You blame yourself, “maybe if we worked out..”, no, that’s not what it’s about. Let me be real with the way I’m feeling, I’m being honest, it’s part of the healing, process, focus, don’t show less, we always get through all the hot mess. 

Jade Hayek 

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